Monday, November 26, 2012

Think of your love ones

When everyone or everything is against you, just walk out of your cubicle, close your eyes, take a deep breath, think of your love ones. Then, go back to work. From class 95. (I think of my parents :) )

Sunday, November 25, 2012

The Paradox of Living in the Moment - How to Be Happy Today and Prepare For Tomorrow

Are you feeling stressed and upset? If so, you are worrying about tomorrow. Events that have already occurred may cause you regret, but they only appear to cause worry. If you just lost your job, you are not worrying about losing your job - that already happened. You are worrying about paying your bills and finding a new job. Those are worries about tomorrow.

Worrying is just a natural human emotion, and everyone worries, right? Actually not. Worry is a bad habit that most people acquire, and like all habits, can be broken.

When you worry about what may or may not occur in the future, you miss the joy that is available today - each and every day. So is the answer to focus only on today, and let tomorrow take care of itself? That sounds good - until tomorrow arrives and you are not prepared.

It's a paradox. How does one balance living in the now with preparing responsibly for the future? The key to this dilemma lies in the distinction between "worrying about the future," and "preparing for the future." The two concepts are not at all the same.

There are two aspects to preparing for the future. The one that is more familiar to most people is planning. You know the mortgage is due next week so you save the money - You know you want to fit into your clothes tomorrow, so you forgo that second helping. Planning for the future is fully compatible with living joyfully today.

The other aspect of preparing for the future is accepting that things will probably not turn out the way you plan. Creating this acceptance of life's uncertainties is much more challenging than formulating and following through on plans.

The source of most worry is a lack of acceptance of the uncertainties of the future. When one fully lives a life of acceptance, life's vagaries are not merely tolerated, but are enjoyed because they are life's gifts. If one is religiously inclined, whatever life delivers is a gift from the Creator. If one holds other beliefs, then whatever happens is just what there is to work with - so why not enjoy it.

The recipe for a joyful life is planning and preparing for the future, while simultaneously accepting that you hold virtually no control over future events. By placing no demands on the future, you can enjoy whatever it brings.

By Jonathan Huie
http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Paradox-of-Living-in-the-Moment---How-to-Be-Happy-Today-and-Prepare-For-Tomorrow&id=2001469

How to Stay Happy All the Time

Are you the one who gets stressed easily?

Who walks around like he is carrying the burden of the world on his shoulder? Do you end up seeing the bad even in good things? If the answer to these questions is yes, then you suffer from SAS - Sad Always Syndrome.

Many-a-times happy people are stared at and questioned oh-so-often about what makes them happy. Sometimes I feel being happy is considered taboo. It is like if you are not sad and don’t complain & whine you don’t ‘fit in’. But I also feel that it is time to change this. Being happy (no matter what) is what you must chose and this is how you can stay happy at most (if not all) times.

1. Look at the positive side

Every situation has two sides – good & bad. No matter how bad the circumstances may appear to be, there is always a silver lining. When the going gets tough, toughen up and face the adversities with a smile. Accept that life is rough and you have no choice but to deal with it head-on. Try and find the positive side to every situation and you will end up being happier and relatively at ease.

2. Accept the realities of life

 Traffic, annoying bosses’, fiercely competitive colleagues, crowded trains, potholes etc. are an inevitable part of your life. The more you allow these everyday realities to get to you, the more frustrated you will be. Accept these as a way of life and you will be more at peace.

3. Be comfortable with who are you

No one is perfect. No matter how amazing a certain person may seem, he has his flaws. It is wise to accept your flaws with the ease with which you accept your good qualities. While you may strive to better yourself as a person at all times, it is advisable to not beat yourself down by obsessing over your short-comings. The sooner you get comfortable in your skin, the better you will feel and the happier you will be.

4. Don’t patronize and keep the distance

One of the most obvious causes of misery is the inability to say ‘no’ in certain situations. Learn to refuse when you are not okay with certain things. Patronizing and agreeing to others’ opinions/requests just for the heck of it is not only stupid but certainly the cause of unhappiness. So stay clear of it. Also, certain people can be a bad influence in your life. These are the chronic whiners, the pessimists and the jealous ones who always try to pull you down. Show the door to such people and keep your distance from them.
To be honest, staying happy is not difficult. You just have to make a genuine attempt at it and happiness could well be your best friend.

http://www.mensxp.com/health/live-healthy/6134-how-to-stay-happy-all-the-time.html

20 Simple Ways to Get Happy

Take control of your mood and improve your health.

Happiness is ephemeral, subject to the vagaries of everything from the weather to the size of your bank account.

We’re not suggesting that you can reach a permanent state called “happiness” and remain there. But there are many ways to swerve off the path of anxiety, anger, frustration, and sadness into a state of happiness once or even several times throughout the day. Here are 20 ideas to get you started. Choose the ones that work for you. If tuning out the news or making lists will serve only to stress you further, try another approach.

1. Practice mindfulness. Be in the moment. Instead of worrying about your checkup tomorrow while you have dinner with your family, focus on the here and now — the food, the company, the conversation.

2. Laugh out loud. Just anticipating a happy, funny event can raise levels of endorphins and other pleasure-inducing hormones and lower production of stress hormones. Researchers at the University of California, Irvine, tested 16 men who all agreed they thought a certain videotape was funny. Half were told three days in advance they would watch it. They started experiencing biological changes right away. When they actually watched the video, their levels of stress hormones dropped significantly, while their endorphin levels rose 27 percent and their growth hormone levels (indicating benefit to the immune system) rose 87 percent.

3. Go to sleep. We have become a nation of sleep-deprived citizens. Taking a daily nap or getting into bed at 8 p.m. one night with a good book — and turning the light out an hour later — can do more for your mood and outlook on life than any number of bubble baths or massages.

4. Hum along. Music soothes more than the savage beast. Studies find music activates parts of the brain that produce happiness — the same parts activated by food or sex. It’s also relaxing. In one study older adults who listened to their choice of music during outpatient eye surgery had significantly lower heart rates, blood pressure, and cardiac workload (that is, their heart didn’t have to work as hard) as those who had silent surgery.

5. Declutter. It’s nearly impossible to meditate, breathe deeply, or simply relax when every surface is covered with papers and bills and magazines, your cabinets bulge, and you haven’t balanced your checkbook in six months. Plus, the repetitive nature of certain cleaning tasks — such as sweeping, wiping, and scrubbing — can be meditative in and of itself if you focus on what you’re doing.

6. Just say no. Eliminate activities that aren’t necessary and that you don’t enjoy. If there are enough people already to handle the church bazaar and you’re feeling stressed by the thought of running the committee for yet another year, step down and let someone else handle things.

7. Make a list. There’s nothing like writing down your tasks to help you organize your thoughts and calm your anxiety. Checking off each item provides a great sense of fulfillment.

8. Do one thing at a time. Edward Suarez, Ph.D., associate professor of medical psychology at Duke, found that people who multitask are more likely to have high blood pressure. Take that finding to heart. Instead of talking on the phone while you fold laundry or clean the kitchen, sit down in a comfortable chair and turn your entire attention over to the conversation. Instead of checking e-mail as you work on other projects, turn off your e-mail function until you finish the report you’re writing. This is similar to the concept of mindfulness.

9. Garden. Not only will the fresh air and exercise provide their own stress reduction and feeling of well-being, but the sense of accomplishment that comes from clearing a weedy patch, watching seeds turn into flowers, or pruning out dead wood will last for hours, if not days.

10. Tune out the news. For one week go without reading the newspaper, watching the news, or scanning the headlines online. Instead, take a vacation from the misery we’re exposed to every day via the media and use that time for a walk, a meditation session, or to write in your journal.

11. Take a dog for a walk. There are numerous studies that attest to the stress-relieving benefits of pets. In one analysis researchers evaluated the heart health of 240 couples, half of whom owned a pet. Those couples with pets had significantly lower heart rates and blood pressure levels when exposed to stressors than the couples who did not have pets. In fact, the pets worked even better at buffering stress than the spouses did.

12. Scent the air. Research finds that the benefits of aromatherapy in relieving stress are real. In one study people exposed to rosemary had lower anxiety levels, increased alertness, and performed math computations faster. Adults exposed to lavender showed an increase in the type of brain waves that suggest increased relaxation. Today you have a variety of room-scenting methods, from plug-in air fresheners to essential oil diffusers, potpourri, and scented candles.

13. Ignore the stock market. Simply getting your quarterly 401(k) statement can be enough to send your blood pressure skyrocketing. In fact, Chinese researchers found a direct link between the daily performance of the stock market and the mental health of those who closely followed it. Astute investors know that time heals most financial wounds, so give your investments time — and give yourself a break.

14. Visit a quiet place. Libraries, museums, gardens, and places of worship provide islands of peace and calm in today’s frantic world. Find a quiet place near your house and make it your secret getaway.

15. Volunteer. Helping others enables you to put your own problems into perspective and also provides social interaction. While happy people are more likely to help others, helping others increases your happiness. One study found that volunteer work enhanced all six aspects of well-being: happiness, life satisfaction, self-esteem, sense of control over life, physical health, and depression.

16. Spend time alone. Although relationships are one of the best antidotes to stress, sometimes you need time alone to recharge and reflect. Take yourself out to lunch or to a movie, or simply spend an afternoon reading, browsing in a bookstore, or antiquing.

17. Walk mindfully. You probably already know that exercise is better than tranquilizers for relieving anxiety and stress. But what you do with your mind while you’re walking can make your walk even more beneficial. In a study called the Ruth Stricker Mind/Body Study, researchers divided 135 people into five groups of walkers for 16 weeks. Group one walked briskly, group two at a slow pace, and group three at a slow pace while practicing “mindfulness,” a mental technique to bring about the relaxation response, a physiological response in which the heart rate slows and blood pressure drops. This group was asked to pay attention to their footsteps, counting one, two, one, two, and to visualize the numbers in their mind. Group four practiced a form of tai chi, and group five served as the control, changing nothing about their lives. The group practicing mindfulness showed significant declines in anxiety and had fewer negative and more positive feelings about themselves. Overall they experienced the same stress-reducing effects of the brisk walkers. Better yet, the effects were evident immediately.

18. Give priority to close relationships. One study of more than 1,300 men and women of various ages found that those who had a lot of supportive friends were much more likely to have healthier blood pressure, cholesterol levels, blood sugar metabolism, and stress hormone levels than those with two or fewer close friends. Women, and to a lesser extent men, also seemed to benefit from good relationships with their parents and spouses. Studies also find that people who feel lonely, depressed, and isolated are three to five times more likely to get sick and die prematurely than those who have feelings of love, connection, and community.

19. Take care of the soul. In study after study, actively religious people are happier and cope better with crises, according to David Myers, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Hope College in Holland, Michigan. For many people faith provides a support community, a sense of life’s meaning, feelings of ultimate acceptance, a reason to focus beyond yourself, and a timeless perspective on life’s woes. Even if you’re not religious, a strong spirituality may offer similar benefits.

20. Count your blessings. People who pause each day to reflect on some positive aspect of their lives (their health, friends, family, freedom, education, etc.) experience a heightened sense of well-being.

http://www.rd.com/health/wellness/20-simple-ways-to-get-happy/

16 Tips to Cope With Stress

Source: By Evelyn Boon, Senior Principal Psychologist, Department of Psychiatry, Singapore General Hospital (SGH).

From the elderly to even young children, it seems that everyone deals with stress nowadays. Stress is our body’s (and mind’s) way of telling us that something has upset our normal equilibrium. At times stress is not a bad thing as it may motivate us to succeed but sometimes, stress can affect us in a negative way.

Here are some 16 stress management tips to help you better deal with stress.

1. A good way to start for many people is to eliminate artificial stress reducers, like alcohol or smoking which are detrimental to our health and beauty and only temporarily alleviate our stress symptoms without treating the cause.

2. Eat a well-balanced diet which includes plenty of fruits and vegetables, as well as foods which are high in complex carbohydrates. An ideal diet also has moderate amounts of protein while remaining low in fat.

3. Avoid excessive amounts of caffeine (coffee, black/red tea, soft drinks with caffeine, etc.) which could increase your anxiety and even cause palpitations. Don’t drink coffee after 6pm.

4. Exercise is one of the best ways to reduce stress and improve your overall quality of life. Walk or do whatever exercise you feel comfortable with. You may prefer to join a fitness club. Be sure to exercise regularly. Don't concern yourself with your family or work while you are working out; this is your time and don't let anyone or anything interfere.

5. Go outdoors whenever possible. A little sunshine and activity can do you a world of good and enhance your entire life outlook.

6. Think positive. For each negative thought you have, try to counter it with something positive. Always look for that silver lining.

7. Be a 'kid' sometimes. Do what you enjoyed doing when you were a child. Draw, paint, dance, read, play music, even play with play-dough. Express yourself without worrying about maintaining the image of who you are 'supposed' to be. Just relax and enjoy yourself. We all have a little child in us and it's a good idea to allow that child within to come out and play from time to time.

8. Set realistic goals for yourself. Don’t set yourself up for failure by setting unrealistic goals. For example, if you are dieting, realise that you cannot lose 10kg in one month. Allow for sufficient time to reach your goals and acknowledge that occasional setbacks may occur. Avoid expectations altogether if you can; expectations and reality are often two entirely different things.

9. Learn to manage your time well. Time management is essential when you have to juggle numerous projects or roles. Always give yourself sufficient time to accomplish your tasks.

10. Learn that it is OK to say 'no' occasionally. Very often, we feel we have to say 'yes' to everyone, every time we are asked for help. Remember, you cannot be all things to all people. You must first meet your own needs before you can truly give others what they need.

11. Make time for yourself. You have to be on top of your priority list. Attend to your own needs first. Once they are met you will find that you may have more time for others. You may find more pleasure in helping others when you don't feel that you must always put others’ needs before your own.

12. When you are facing an unpleasant situation, take a deep breath and count to ten before saying or doing anything. Taking a deliberate pause can have a calming effect, and allow you extra time to reassess the situation before taking possibly regrettable actions on impulse.

13. Practice deep breathing exercises. Imagine your stomach like a balloon, and inhale deeply and slowly, inflating that balloon. As you slowly exhale, think of the word “relax” and let it permeate your entire being, from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet. Let your stress be “released” from your feet.

14. Pamper yourself. Book a massage or a spa treatment. Indulge your senses to better manage your stress.

15. Aromatherapy can be of tremendous help. Try using five or six drops of lavender, bergamot, ylang-ylang or geranium essential oil in a warm bath or put two or three drops on a cloth and inhale from time to time during the day. You can also use a few drops on your pillow to help you to sleep better.

16. Adopt good sleep habits. Make sure you go to bed and wake up at about the same time every day. Avoid very stimulating games and take a warm shower before bedtime to help you relax. Try to resolve arguments before bedtime. If possible, only bring up issues during the daytime.

Eliminating the biggest sources of stress and learning to manage the rest will help you have a positive outlook towards life, which will have a positive trickling effect on your family and friends. With better stress management techniques, things which seem overwhelming will soon become trivial. You will be healthier, happier, and more energetic; ready to face whatever obstacles come your way.

http://www.healthxchange.com.sg/healthyliving/SpecialFocus/Pages/16-tips-to-cope-with-stress.aspx

The Couch

Frank Cintamani's Motto:
Just Do It and Learn from mistakes.

Georgia Lee's Motto:
Work hard for it, do your best no matter what the circumstance will be.

Part 1

 

Part 2

 

Part 3

Sunday, June 17, 2012

I like these songs

♡ PART 4: "PRIMADONNA" ♡   MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS [Official Music Video]



Belinda Carlisle - Leave A Light On


Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe


Kelly Clarkson - Dark Side


Alexandra Stan - Mr Saxobeat (Official Video)


Adele - Turning Tables (LIVE AOL Sessions HQ)


Maroon 5 - Payphone (Explicit) ft. Wiz Khalifa

Usher - Scream

Gym Class Heroes: The Fighter ft. Ryan Tedder [OFFICIAL VIDEO]


The Wanted - Chasing The Sun


Bruno Mars - Grenade [Official Music Video]


Kris Allen - The Vision Of Love


Cheryl Cole - Fight For This Love


Alex Clare - Too Close (OFFICIAL VIDEO)


Kylie Minogue - Wow (Alternative Version) (HD)


Fun.: We Are Young ft. Janelle MonĂ¡e [OFFICIAL VIDEO]


 Keane - Silenced By The Night


Jennifer Lopez - Dance Again ft. Pitbull


Sting - Desert Rose

Pixie Lott Boys And Girls


Maria - Blondie


Kylie Minogue - Timebomb

Daniel Powter - Bad Day (Video)


Enrique Iglesias - Heartbeat ft. Nicole Scherzinger


Home- Phil Phillips


Bruno Mars - Marry You

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Holding hands

I'm so envious of couples holding hands.

When I was at Hyde Park, I was sitting with 1 elderly couples. They were smiling at me. Their smiles were so beautiful and serene. It was at a late afternoon. The park was so beautiful with half daylight. As the daylight got lesser and lesser, the elderly couples said goodbye to me. Grandpa held grandma's hand and walked together. While they were walking together, they looked at the white swan and chatted about it and continued their walks. So sweet. =)

Every now and then, I see couples holding each other hands, whispering to each other ears and pecking on each other face. I'm so envy.

With my introvert personality, I wonder would I ever have these moments happen to me. Why introvert? I can be extrovert but I'm very introvert when comes to relationship. In my entire life, I never ever dare to say I like a guy. I'm very shy and have no gut in this area. (>_<)


Saturday, April 28, 2012

Don't want to be alone

Suddenly, this feeling of loneliness hit me so hard.

Since I became independent and came out to this working society, I feel that most of the time I'm alone. It's not that I don't have friends or colleagues. It's the feeling of loneliness travelling back home , eat alone, watch tv alone and sleep alone. This routine has been 8 years. 

Occasionally, I go out with my friends or colleagues. We shop, eat, drink coffee, have high tea and watch movies. They can't accompany me forever. They have their newly set up families. I'm so envy of them. They can go out with their partners. They have their partners to accompany them. (I have never been in a relationship in my entire life). (-_-)

I'm all alone. Besides the weekday routine of going to work and going back home alone, I seldom go out on weekend nowadays. It's not as active going out as in the past. Nowadays, all my friends are busy with their boyfriends, husbands or babies. Yet I'm so free. This freedom has become boredom. I'm only busy occasionally, like busy with work, busy surfing Internet or busy preparing for holiday trip.

I have been to Australia alone.
I have been to Europe alone.
And I'm going to London alone again this year.

How I wish I could find someone to go with me.
How I wish I could find someone to have dinner with me.
How I wish I could find someone to watch movies with me.
How I wish I could find someone to go shopping with me.
How I wish I could find someone to drink coffee or have high tea with me.

 Celine Dion - All By Myself
(P.S. The 3rd sentence of the lyrics "making.." does not represent me)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine's Day 14 Feb 2012

I bought smiley donut for my breakfast today. I took picture of it and posted on Facebook. "Good morning everyone! Happy Valentine Day! (^_^)

July 2011- Feb 2012

I have not been blogging for months. Many things happen.

Last year July to August, I went to Europe before I joined my new company. I visited Amsterdam, Germany, Lucerne, Innsbruck, Venice, Rome, Florence, NICE, Avignon and Paris. So many cities and countries! I was so glad that I took up Contiki tour package. Without it, I dare not travel alone. I got to know a lot of friends. They came from Australia, New Zealand, USA, Canada and South Africa. I was the only Chinese looking girl from Singapore! (^_^) Most of them joined Contiki Europe trip with their friends and partners. I did not because I took it up last minutes just before I joined my current company. Who would do this and got to spent a few thousands for it? Haha... :D Due to this, I felt very lonely for the whole trip. :P :P :P Got to travel but did not enjoy? Hehehe... A lot of people will envy but to me, how I wish someone is out there to enjoy this trip with me. (^_^) There are some of my singles tour mates felt that too. Haha...

After my trip, I started my new job. I like this job. I do not have to do programming anymore. (*_^) Hehe... However, when I started my current job, I was pretty stress up. I had to learn a lot of systems. I had to answer a lot of calls, even mid-night calls. I had to be in the clinic or wards to support project new rollout. These 6 months were the most tiring months I ever had. One of my colleagues understands how I feel. I was new, expected to learn fast and complete the work by end of the day and there are hectic periods. That's why it's hard for me. Anyway, I have learnt a lot now and I am able to handle a lot of things on myself. Cheers! (^v^)

September: I celebrated my birthday with my family and friends. :)

November to February:
1. Attended 5 wedding dinners
2. Celebrated Christmas with my friends
3. Stay @ home during New Year Eve
4. Avoided house visiting during Chinese New Year
5. Today, Valentine's Day, had dinner alone and came home early